Double Date
by CarlottaStudios - MOVED TO AO3
Summary: One fall maiden, one mutated bat-faunus, one Voltron paladin and one Blade of Marmora legacy member. Two ex-terrorists and two knife-wielding aliens (well, one alien and one human-alien hybrid). Four individuals who each have a mountain of personal issues. Imagine these four characters deciding to go on a double-date. Are we doomed?


You know the expression "recipe for disaster"? When an idea or set of circumstances is just so crazy and risky that there's no way it can end other than very badly?

Well, consider this set of circumstances: two ex-terrorists, one a vampire (actually, a vampire bat faunus) and the other a pyromancer, and two knife-wielding agents of a rebel organization in space, one a full-fledged alien and the other an alien-human hybrid. Four people who are…to put it charitably, emotionally fucked up. Granted, they're much better than they used to be, but to say they all had issues would be the understatement of the millennium.

Consider those four people, each of whom could cause enough trouble on their own, going all together on a double date.

I know, it sounds like the perfect recipe for category-5-hurricane levels of bad news.

But it actually turned out really well!

"Remind me again how you two met?" Keith asked after a sip of water.

The vampire bat faunus smiled over at his lover, who had accepted a challenge at dart-throwing while the couples waited for their food and was fairing well, her eyepatch giving her a subtle advantage over her opponent.

"She'd just suffered a blow from her enemies and was in a pretty bad spot. Going back to her boss wasn't an option, at least not an option she would survive. So, I helped her keep out of sight from the authorities and, from there, it's history."

"She was an outlaw?" the half-galra inquired.

"A terrorist, so yeah."

"And you knew that?"

"Yeah, but come on." Vlad Caliban shrugged. "She was a beautiful, badass, dangerous woman in a bit of distress. How could I resist?"

Keith chuckled.

"Good point." he conceded.

Vlad smiled and nodded toward the counter, where Zuri patiently waited for the cook to finish preparing the plates with their meals, having already gotten their drinks beforehand.

"So, how'd you find Zuri?" he asked.

"I didn't find her," Keith started to say, then reconsidered. "Actually, I kinda did," seeing Vlad's confusion, he added "It's a bit of a long story."

"Can you sum it up?" Vlad asked, taking a drink of his own.

"Summed up…" Keith searched for a way to briefly explain the start of his and Zuri's relationship. "I met her and her secret rebel organization, she tackled me and pinned me to the ground, I was annoyed but when I saw her face I pretty much let it slide. She apologized though. For the tackling."

Vlad almost swallowed the wrong way when Keith mentioned the tackling. After a brief coughing fit, he stared at the young man, then shook his head.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Sometimes you meet your soulmate in the weirdest circumstances."

Keith nodded.

"Plus, with what you said about your Blade of Marmora stuff, I kinda figured your meeting involved some kind of violence. Wasn't expecting violence against each other." Vlad added.

Keith rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't violence, really, just a misunderstanding."

"Is that explained in the long version of the story?"

Vlad couldn't help feeling genuinely curious at the evidently deep bond between Keith and his lover and how it started. He was, of course, willing to explain his own story with Cinder, if Keith wanted to know, and if Cinder didn't mind him sharing some details from her work with Salem. It was really nice talking with Keith about this, comparing their histories and seeing how, similarly, they'd started with less-than-charmed lives but managed to end up so blissfully happy. Keith smiled and nodded at Vlad's question and was feeling tempted to elaborate when the two young men heard the cook set the last plate on the counter and Zuri thank them before picking up two of the steaming plates. A nearby waitress rushed over to her.

"I can help you with that!" she chirped, reaching for the plates in Zuri's hands, but the purple-skinned alien stepped out the perky girl's reach.

"Thanks, but no thank you." she said, her tone gone slightly cold and her eyes hardening just a bit.

The girl scurried away, easily frightened by the galra's harsh yellow gaze. Keith hid a smile. He'd noticed the waitresses whispering and giggling. He knew that Zuri had noticed too and that she hadn't liked it. There was no way she would let them get too close to Keith if she could help it. And in Keith's eyes, it was a good thing. Both because he liked not having to deal with that kind of attention from strangers and because he didn't want to know what might happen if Zuri's galra instincts to "mark her territory" were tested in this public setting. Vlad frowned in confusion at Zuri's change of mood toward the waitress.

"What was that?" he asked Keith.

"It's a galra thing." Keith said, wanting to avoid giving the full explanation in this public setting.

"Being jealous and possessive is a galra thing?" Vlad's eyebrow lifted like a bridge.

Keith was a bit at a loss for words as he tried to find a clarification, but luckily, Zuri arrived. She set the two plates down and, having obviously overheard Vlad, she explained:

"Galra are kind of like Earth's felines. We're pretty territorial and we have an instinctual urge to protect what's ours, especially when it comes to mates." she said this last with a smile at Keith.

He smirked in return.

"Let me guess: especially very good-looking mates?" he said sarcastically.

Zuri's smile widened.

"Exactly." she said, both her tone and expression indicating that she meant it seriously.

She stroked Keith's bangs away from his face and kissed the skin she'd bared before turning back to the counter, leaving Keith blushing lightly. Vlad cooed.

"That's adorable."

"Shut up." Keith muttered, but his tone was softened by his smile.

They watched as Zuri got the other two plates when a male customer approached her, all smiles and attempts at chivalry.

"Hey, let me get that for you." he said.

Now, it was Keith's turn to frown and for his eyes to sharpen like daggers in the intruding male's direction. But Zuri ducked away from the man.

"No thank you." she said in a neutral tone, not hard by any means, but just firm enough.

Or it would've been for any normal person. But this guy insistently took one the plates away from Zuri, prompting a full-on glare from Keith.

"You could use the help." he said, but was cut off by Zuri grabbing his arm.

"I've. Got it." she said, her voice now dangerously calm.

Most people wouldn't be able to tell from looking at the scene, but Vlad and Keith were sitting in the perfect spot to see Zuri dig her sharp little galra claws into the customer's arm. His face paled and he quietly offered her the plate again. He slinked back to his seat as Zuri walked to her companions with the last two plates. Vlad nodded, impressed, and was barely surprised when, as soon as Zuri sat down in their booth, Keith moved closer to her and put an arm around her. As the couple exchanged a soft murmur, Vlad turned to where Cinder was demolishing her opponent, figuratively speaking. She'd hit several bull's-eyes in a row and the woman she was competing against, clearly one who prided herself on her dart-throwing skills, looked to be on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"Cinder," he called, only just loud enough that she'd hear.

Cinder looked over to their booth and, as she spotted her boyfriend, he waved at her sweetly.

"I'm coming." she said, turning toward him.

Nonchalantly, she tossed the dart in her hand over her shoulder at the board. It landed smack-dab in the center, to the shock of Cinder's opponent and the wild exclamations of the watching bystanders. As the dark-haired woman approached the booth, another customer stood from his seat and sauntered over to Cinder on her left, leering at her.

"Nice moves there, little lady." he said, his hand wandering down to-

With all the grace of a ballerina, Cinder spun around to face the man, grabbing his wrist and yanking it away, then kneeing him in the groin. The man uttered something between a gasp and a squeal and sank down to his knees as, without so much as a pause, Cinder strode to the booth where her boyfriend and their fellow double-daters were sitting, having watched the whole scene in awe.

"Well? What else was I supposed to do?" she asked, picking up a fry from her plate and starting to eat.

Vlad sighed, his mouth stretched into a big gooey smile.

"I love you." he said, with enough sentimentality it could make one sick.

And so, with a waitress and a customer scared off, a dart-throwing regular reduced to tears and another customer being taught a lesson in not trying to molest random young women, this recipe for disaster actually led to a nice fun dinner between two couples and even an agreement that they should meet up again for another double date.


End file.
